C'est pas la vie en rose...

Well, we are about halfway through our trip. I'm feeling a bit of a slump. For one thing, not quite two weeks ago, I had my first real bout of homesicknesses. This week has been challenging and emotional. I knew that there would be challenges during our time here, and I also knew that I couldn't know what they all were in advance. 

Modern art featured in one of Simon's textbooks and featured in Uncle Dave's "I ate too much spaghetti and now I'm regretti" meme.

I basically already put that out there in a facebook comment (oops?) and I was debating whether I should even write this post, or perhaps write it for my own therapeutic purposes and never publish it. Anyhoo, I don't want to sound like a whiney spoiled baby... I realize on the one hand that all of my difficulties and complaints come from a certain place of privilege. I am blessed to have had the time, the means, and the blessing of my husband to embark on this adventure. I'm technically still in a first world country, having "first world problems." (But I hope you'll cut me some slack because if you are reading this, you are my friend and, dare I say, also enjoying similar privileges and blessings in your daily life.) 

Grump face.

Suffice it to say, I think there are many tiny stresses, inconveniences, and frustrations, that by themselves don't sound like much, but when you put them all together and pile them up, they become a formidable adversary to interior peace. And the thing about going outside of your comfort zone? ...well shucks, it's actually uncomfortable!😖

Last Supper window from our parish church, Sacré-Coeur.

I have been trying to reflect and pray, as best I can, and I've received some wise words from friends, as well as comforting ones. One of the biggest issues before me right now is that my children's behavior has been far below my expectations. And my behavior in turn, has been far below my expectations. I'm trying to see things from an eternal perspective, but my own faults and temptations can be very blinding. I am thankful we had the opportunity to go to confession today and I did appreciate the consoling counsel of the Holy Spirit through the words of the priest. But I'm still trying to feel that peace that I prayed for! 

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So what are some of the other things that have been eating at me?....

 

Who would have ever thought I would miss plastic grocery bags? Normally I have so many plastic grocery bags they are coming out of my ears and when cashiers double-bag everything, I kinda roll my eyes inside because I think it is excessive and wasteful. However, France is on such an anti-plastic mega mission that there is basically nothing that resembles those plastic grocery bags we get all the time. Now I am realizing how useful they are! Dirty shoes? Put 'em in a grocery bag. Throwing together a few odds and ends for a picnic lunch? Plastic grocery bag. Just want to carry something small with handles? Grocery bag. Trash bag for the car? Just something random and messy you want to throw away? Grocery bag! 

I mean, c'mon... What do French people put their dog poop in? Oh yeah, that's right. NOTHING! So watch where you step and that's why buildings have metal foot scrapers outside their doors.

The biggest cabbages I have ever seen in my life!

I find the whole pandemic and the ensuing rules quite oppressive. I am worried about the Health Pass and how will I manage that especially with our upcoming trip... I am hoping that I will be able to take a self-test at a pharmacy and that they will in turn give Joseph, Simon, and I Health Passes that will permit us to enter where they are required (such as the cafeteria of the retreat house where we are lodging to eat the breakfast that is already paid for; or Sainte Chapelle; or a restaurant, or a museum...) However, I am trying to brace myself for rejection and/or pontificating pharmacists who want to scold me for being unvaccinated and/or the maximum out-of-pocket expense of paying for three antigen tests as often as every three days over the course of two weeks to enjoy the so-called "liberté" enshrined in the French national motto. 

(FTR, that could potentially cost well over $500.)

Clever! (2-in-1 TP rolls that include a compact roll inside the big roll for using on-the-go.)

I've been listening to the news on radio in order to help myself improve my French, and keep up with current events while I am at it. Well, in my estimation, at least 80% of the reporting on the station I've been listening to refers to the "environmental crisis" in one way or another. Plus, there are billboards, product packaging, and more that is constantly harping on environmentalism. Look, I am 100% in favor of good stewardship; responsibility; and I have a strong distaste for wastefulness which I have inherited from at least two prior generations; but the extent to which environmentalism is discussed and promoted here absolutely feels like a false religion to me. I know there is a dark-side to these initiatives, but there is never a two-sided discussion about it, as far as I can tell. Some of you might have also seen the brief article I shared about the drawbacks of electric cars, for example. Maybe they are still worth it in the end, but let's be honest about the problems and truly discuss the pros and cons. For example, it takes 5-7 years of driving an electric car to break even on the amount of carbon emissions needed to create the car in the first place. And where is the electricity to power the car coming from? What happens with those batteries when they reach the end of their useful lives? How much pollution will they in turn cause? How about the environmental, health, social, and economic impacts of mining the precious minerals that are needed to make the batteries? 

Anyways, I think I might need to stop listening to the news...

Just a pic of the big boys chatting while the younger ones play on the playground.

Driving stick shift. I hate it. I know it will get easier with time, but ugh! e.g. Most of the driving I do is city driving and a lot of it is in rush hour traffic. (And French "city driving" means stop lights about every 50 feet.😒 Seriously, there are some stop lights where there is only space for one car.) By the time I get to third gear, I have to start breaking again because I'm approaching the next red light!

We live on a median-divided boulevard, so I have to make a u-turn every single morning to go to school. Do you know that there are THREE stop lights to make that turn?! If I'm lucky, two of them will be green as I approach, but I always have to stop at the third one. There's already a lot one has to pay attention to while driving, adding in the layer of shifting gears is a constant low-level stressor.

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On the bright side of humanity, I appreciate the people who have volunteered to help spot me while parking the car. Just in the past two days, some older gentlemen who just happened to be nearby have watched my blind spots and guided me into very tight parking spots.

There was an old man at Mass this morning who I noticed was eye-balling my coughing children. Then at some point he started talking to Joseph. I was really worried that he was going to chastise me. However, when he got the chance to talk to me, he actually gave me some recommendations about natural remedies to help their coughs. And he told me, "I'm not vaccinated and I'm against the vaccine." and then he proceeded to tell me about a public protest that takes place every Saturday. And he told me how he survived cancer and he was actually really nice. 

A relic of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque exposed for veneration on this, her feast day.

The French seem to generally have good musical training. I have observed that anyone who cantors is adept at conducting. But what I find really nice is that everyone is comfortable singing a capella. There is always an entrance song for daily mass, which everyone seems to automatically know or else has no problem following the hymnal (and I myself have seen them sing a variety of songs; not the same ones every time); everyone sings and people always harmonize! Even at the small mothers' prayer group I went to yesterday, the format of the meeting includes singing songs in between prayers. Everyone sings a capella and a few people automatically start harmonizing for the refrain or after the first verse. It's lovely!

This is baby Eloi who is stealing my heart big-time! I have the pleasure of seeing him fairly regularly and I just want to eat him up every time I see him!

We leave for our "Toussaint" (All Saints") pilgrimage/trip on Saturday. I have all of our accommodations booked. I need to work on some of the finer details and this morning as I was imagining shepherding my children through Paris metros and streets, I was feeling a little anxious! Anyways, that's gonna be a biggie. Lots of driving (stick shift 😝) and lots of moving and grooving. I'm not sure if I'll post anything while we travel or not. I'm not planning on bringing my laptop, so we'll see. Please keep us in your prayers! I thank you, and may God reward you.