Simon Scares Me

A couple of recent ditties from Simon.  The boy will surely give me a heart attack one day...

1.) I am in the kitchen preparing or washing something and Simon says to me matter-of-factly, "Mom, when I stick a toothpick in my ear, it tickles."

As you might imagine, I pretty much flipped out.  We have very sharp, stiff toothpicks.  Of course I warned him that he could ruin his hearing forever.  (Never mind the fact that I was probably yelling loud enough to make him loose his hearing anyways.)

2.) Recently we were at a friends' house and we allowed the kids to climb trees in the front yard.  (Which they have asked to do many times in the past, but we have never let them b/c they always ask as we are leaving.  This day, they actually asked before it was time to go, so my friend and I agreed and accompanied them to the front yard.)  As my friend and I were chatting and generally keeping an eye on all the kids, I eventually hear Simon's voice calling to me... except that it is not coming from a direction I expect... I peer around, approach the tree, and look up, only to see Simon at the top of the tree, at least 20-25 feet up and telling me he can't get down.  I want to faint, but I keep my composure, mostly.(Except for yelling at Joseph to stop running around in circles and trying to talk to Simon.  I did announce that I was very nervous!)  I couldn't really bear to look.  My friend went under the boughs of the tree and coached Simon down to safety. Meanwhile I am praying fervently to Simon's guardian angel to keep him safe.  Afterwards my friend tells me that Simon, at one point, had put his entire weight on a branch that was about 1cm thick.

Yes, heart attack waiting to happen....